How to Win Friends and Influence People

(Six Ways to Make People like You. If you want people to like you...)

Rule 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.

1)“Do this and you will be welcome anywhere.”

2)“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

3)“Ask questions to other people, questions that they would enjoy answering.”

         Reflection:To me this quote means, focus on others and what they enjoy rather than what you like. Becoming friends requires listening skills. You need to be able to listen and take in what others say. Showing interest in others passions will automatically show how good you are at listening and how open-minded you are. When you ask what others like you can also ask further questions that will let they know how interested you are. And with this you will gain another friend. Then they will listen to you. For example, when you meet someone new ask them questions about what they like, get to know them. The will the questions you ask you can go further into the topic and you can learn what specifically they like or even any other activities they like to do, I will start showing more interest in other people and let they speak instead. I will be a good person by showing that I care. 

Rule 2: Smile

1) "Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, "I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you."

2) "You don't feel like smiling? Then force yourself to smile."

3)"It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign (witness or indication) of friends."

           Reflection: When you meet someone you should smile. When you smile it will show that you care and you will automatically lighten the mood. Meeting someone and smiling can change their entire day this will let them know how happy you are to see them. An example of using this is for example, meeting someone new for the first time in class. Lets say you have to show them around and show them where their first class is. You can greet them and smile. Maybe even become friends with also using the first rule. You can smile and show interest in the things they like.I will start to do this when I greet or even look at someone. Maybe a smile can change someones entire day. This shows that you are a good person and you like to see others happy. I will make myself and others happy by smiling, even when I am not in the best mood. Along with a smile I will also show interest in a person I meet or even people I already know. 

Rule 3: Remember names 

1)"A man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
2) "If you don't remember names, you are headed for trouble."
                    
              Reflection: When you first meet someone the first thing you should ask is their name. You cannot be friend with someone without knowing their name. I like how in the above quote the author stresses how important it is to remember a name. This will get you more friends because when you remember names you will have an easier time talking and enjoying time with them. In order to be successful you need to know the people around you and their names. For example, if you are calling for a job, and the person on the other line stated their name, it is best to remember. Even something as simple as remembering names will get you far in life and give you opportunities. One little minor mistake can ruin something important. You should make sure you remember names so you have a better chance of making friends. 



 Rule 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. 
 1) "If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener."
2) "Remember that the man you are talking to is a hundred times more interested in himself and his wants and his problems than he is in you and your problems."

Reflection: When you are talking to someone they more than likely want to talk about themselves. If everyone in the world was like this i think the would would be a better place. When you make friends you want to know and learn about a person, rather than just talk about yourself. This will let the other person know you are interested in them and what they do. Letting them talk will let you know their interest and anything you two may have in common. For example, when you meet someone for the first time you would like to know their interest and hobbies. They will appreciate that you care about them. In the above quotes they are true, even I would like to talk about myself. I would like if someone asked me what my interests are. To apply this to myself I will be asking people I meet about what they like. This will teach me how to talk to others and learn about others. 

Five steps for active listening:

• Stay focused, don't judge, be patient and make direct eye contact
• Really listen, don't think of what you will tell next
• Allow for periods of silence, let the other person say something again
• From time to time, repeat the other persons word or paraphrase it back to them
• Understand the emotions behind the words, try to express their feeling

Rule 5: Talk in terms of the other man's interest.

"The royal road to a man's heart is to talk about the things he treasures the most."

Reflection: When you are speaking to someone they would much rather talk about themselves. When you talk about the other person, it will let them know you are interested in what they like. Even I would much rather talk about myself. When you actively listen you can apply this and show the other person that you care. Along with actively listening this will show the other person that you care. For example, when you are having a conversation, you can start the conversation by asking, "What are your interest?". Not only can you ask this but after that answer you can ask more questions on why they like that and further more get into greater detail. To apply this to myself I will start talking and asking questions about the other person. I will do this rather than just thinking about myself. This skill will help me when making new friends, talking to my friends or significant other, and even an interview. I will learn how to talk to the other person and also ask questions on the things they like.


Rule 6: Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.
"The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature."(John Dewey) "Helping people feel important and appreciated works magic."

Reflection: When you are speaking to a person, you will talk about their interests and make them feel important. In order to do this you can talk to them like you are interested in what they like. But be sincere when you talk to them and show that you care. If you show them that you care then you will be trusted and respected. That person will begin to love talking to you when you are interested in them. What I will do is I will start making the person I'm talking to feel important. I will create conversations based on what they like. This will help me make more friends and help me learn to start conversations. 

Reflection: These "Six Ways to Make People Like You" are so crucial in learning how to communicate and make friends with others. You first need to become genuinely interested in the person. I was talking to my mom and i was asking her questions about her day. She seemed to want to talk to me. This made her want to tell me more about her day. When you become genuinely interested others will notice and  want to tell you more like about their interests, or even about their opinions on some things. They will trust you more. Smiling is also very important because this can instantly make a persons day. This can let a person know how important they are to you and this will help them trust you more. I smile at people so this allows them to feel like they can trust me. Remembering names can also help because when you remember names you will not forge the people you talk to. Listening is also very important because when you listen you can learn more about a person and you can even ask questions about what they like or anything else. I feel that when you ask questions this shows you are interested on what the other person likes. The last one is talking in terms of the other persons interest. What this does is encourages the other person to speak about what they like. This will later start more conversations and you will love talking to that person. I will apply the six ways to my life. 

Glenn Cunningham

When Glenn was younger he suffered a terrible burn in his legs because of a fire. The doctor told him he may never walk again. But this did not stop him. He pushed through, he made two wonderful goals that would later come true. Even through there might have not been hope, Glenn made two goals, to become a doctor, and to be in the Olympics. When he was young he told his mother he had hope, and believe he would walk again know matter how hard it would be. He would pull through and try his best. Later on he was in the Olympics and ran and won a silver medal. Cunningham then became a doctor and a father of 10 children. He wanted to become a doctor so he could help others, and keep others happy. When life gets rough, you should have a heart and always believe in yourself just like Cunningham did. If it was not for his goals, positive attitude and the support from his family he would not have even tried. His wonderful story encourages me to be the best I can be. I have learned that know matter how hard the situation is I should have trust and hope in myself. Glenn Cunningham is an inspiration to many. 

To: Stephanie

Hello. Your nice and you like food and animals like me. Thats all I know. You like to be around cats all day and eat. Your favotite colors are green and orange. You have long, dark, and brown hair. Your favorite food is hotdogs and sprinkals. You like to stay in bed all day and you never go out. I know your favorite hoiday is mothers day. You like watching barbie movies and eating twinkies at the same time. When you're sad you like netflix and eat.